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Having a shy
and reserved child can often be a worry for parents. In this situation you
fear your child may not develop to their full potential nor interact well
with others which will impact the rest of their lives. That’s why it is
important that information, help and advice is available in order to help
build your children’s self esteem and confidence straight away. These top
tips provided by Dr Victoria Samual from Super nanny expert are great tips to
have, so we at The Sing Stars MK Project have provided her list for you,
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“1. It’s vital you avoid labelling your child as shy or nervous, either directly to
your child or when talking about her to others. Labels stick and rapidly lead
to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You may have
banished all labels, but what happens if you keep coming up against “isn’t she
shy” declarations from teachers, friends or family - said with conviction in
front of your little one?Ensure your child is left with a positive view of
themselves by calmly and confidently bouncing by the generalisation with a
subtle reframing: “Katie likes to think things through before rushing in” or
“Danny likes to listen to others before sharing his views”.
2. If your child is upset or fearful, accept feelings with warmth and concern:
“it sounds as if you’re feeling nervous, that’s understandable”.
Tempting
though it may be, avoid dismissing or
‘taking away’ feelings eg “don’t be silly, big boys don’t get shy”. These
kinds of comments lead children to feel that their inner states are not valid.
This can be confusing and lead to anxiety. Children whose feelings are accepted
and supported by their parents tend to be much more ‘emotionally literate’,
confident and secure.
3. Normalise doubts by talking about a generic other: “everyone feels unsure
from time to time” or by referring to situations you find daunting and how you
attempt to overcome them: “sometimes I feel worried about speaking up at work,
but I always make and effort and feel good afterwards”. Use story books to
introduce themes of facing fears or overcoming challenges.
4. Children
learn social skills from watching others so model the kind of interactions you
want to encourage: be warm and friendly
with people you don’t know, introduce yourself to new people, ask people
for help, give compliments to friends and thank others for their time.
5. Think
about the specific situations that make your little one run for cover and
identify skills that may help equip them for better managing these daunting
scenarios. Use role play to help them rehearse these skills. For example if
your child shrinks into the corner at birthday parties set up a party scene and
use favourite toys or teddies to act out different interactions: giving the
party girl their present; saying hello to other children; asking the adult
where the toilet is; saying thank you on leaving.
6. Once
you’ve practiced through play, gently encourage new activities by providing
manageable opportunities for success. Take a gradual, step-by-step approach.
For example, if you’re child is nervous about starting Brownies, take her along
to watch the group for the first week, then suggest she joins in at the end for
ten minutes the next week whilst you stay in the room. Then build up to leaving
the room for brief periods. Before long, she will be bouncing into the group
and happily taking part in the full session.
7. It’s crucial you hide any doubts or
anxieties you may have about your little’s one’s ability to cope. Combine
empathy for her feelings (see point 2) with confident assertions that you have
faith in her: “Ahh, I can see you’re feeling a bit worried, but I’m really
confident you’ll be able to handle it”.
8. It’s
tempting when faced with a wary, cautious little person to step in to do things
for them, however this can be counterproductive. When your child is approaching
new situations or learning new things, try to step back from interfering too
much as this may make him hesitant and reliant on others. Let your child learn
through exploration and trial & error; this will help him to develop a
sense of personal mastery and confidence.
9. Help boost
your little one’s self-esteem by using descriptive praise to clearly identify
specific behaviours that you value: “you said hello even though you felt
nervous, that was really brave”. This will help your child to develop an inner
sense of achievement and pride.
10. Show
physical affection and regularly and repeatedly tell your child how much she is
loved. Warm, playful and affectionate interactions with your child will fill
them with a sense of being valued and accepted; crucial for developing the
inner self-confidence required for approaching and interacting with others.
11. If your child is chronically sad and withdrawn, is
unable to face any social situations, has suddenly changed from being outgoing
to quiet and anxious, or if they show absolutely no interest in interacting
with others, it would be worth considering getting professional support. Make
an appointment with your GP to discuss options.” Dr Victoria Samuel Supernanny Expert www.sunpernanny.co.uk
Shyness is a
perfectly normal trait in childhood, it needn't be a major concern. It may
hold a child back socially, and sometimes impacts on their progress and
development so any encouragement and confidence builders would ofcourse be
beneficial. Children often need a little help in overcoming their shyness so by
following Dr Samuals tips you will certainly be heading in the right direction
with your child. Ofcourse shyness may be something your child will naturally
grow out of.
But to help your little ones along, perhaps a childrens activity group might help. I would recommend perhaps a group drama club, or singing school. For parents near Buckinghamshire why not try Sing Stars MK.
Sing Stars is Milton Keynes very own
Singing Group for children aged from 5-16 years old. Sing Stars MK is a fun and
friendly group activity for your little budding singers. They will help develop
your childrens vocal skills and talents, but above all they will help them to
make lots of new friends, boost their own self confidence and show them just
how fun creative arts can be.
Sing Stars nurture and develop each childs
love of singing and to encourage their energy and enthusiasm for performance.
Unlike National Theatre and Drama Schools their classes are affordable and are
at convenient times to suit busy Mums and Dads. Their classes hold a maximum of
15 children to allow them to focus on the needs of every child attending the
group.
Children of all ages and abilities are
welcome! No audition is required! They give every child a chance to shine!
Classes are run midweek, through term times
with a show at the end of each term for mums and dads. Summer Holiday Sing Star
Club is also available. Places are limited but to avoid waiting lists new
classes are added to meet the demand. Please request your childs space on the
next starting Club.
Classes are set to Sing Star Sparklers 5-7
Sing Star Juniors 8-12 and Sing Stars Teens 13-16
There is lots of fun singing techniques and
songs are suited to the age group. Glee, High School Musical, Rock School , Just
Bieber , Hannah Montanna are the popular hits for Sing Star Sparklers and
Juniors, with Katy Perry, Jessie Jay, One Direction , Glee being the teen
choices. We also sing songs from the musicals and show and other artists they
like!!
Prices are £4 per class or there is the
option to pay termly, there are also offers on Siblings in the club, referals
and more...
Please contact us for information on the
next available courses for the Sing Stars Singing Club. If you would like to find out more or
book your place on a class , to find out more, or be given website and social
networking links please contact via this form
Sing Stars Mk also offer Private Singing
Lessons and Childrens Party Entertainment... please call or email for details
07540801395
