Do you fear for your children’s safety on social networking sites?

With the increase of technology in this digital world, social networking is a mass phenomenon in popular culture. Each social site has a 13 year old restriction. But with the growing popularity of the internet there is now a market for younger children for social internet interaction.

Myspace , facebook , bebo and the like have a strict over 13 age limit. Due to The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act http://www.coppa.org/comply.htm

But can we stop children setting up fake profiles? not really! When director of Facebook policy Richard Allan was asked about he issue of younger children setting up accounts he said "There is a place where they can be reported. Those reports come to our staff and if it looks like they are nine or 10 they can just close the account," So really there isn’t an ideal method to stop them creating the accounts in the first place. It is inevitable that children will want to join social networking sites – we are naive if we don’t open our eyes to this. Children are actively using the internet at school and in their homes. This is the digital age and there are many positives to children using the internet. Internet improves educational attainment, makes sourcing information easy , provides entertainment, gives children inspiration and connects them to the big wide world.

But ofcourse with social networking sites comes a lot of danger to our vulnerable children – so perhaps the answer is to offer children’s social networking sites? Ok so many will say children should be outside, actually meeting and socialising with ‘real people’ but there is no evidence that children socialising with other children on the internet replace their actual socialisation. The internet can offer communication to other children in other areas, other countries, other social or other classes . The internet can connect our children globally. Also wouldn’t it be great if children could speak confidently to other children who could be in similar situations, having similar issues, dealing with similar life challenges. Some children are shy and may not feel brave enough to discuss certain things to friends or people they know. How many children actually know the number to Samaritans these day?!!

All this aside children under 13 want to be able to connect on social networking sites. Shockingly “Ofcom estimates that 30% of eight to 11-year-olds have Facebook profiles, despite the joining age of 13.” http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-16836318 Which is worrying because as previously mentioned there isn’t enough moderating within the site to make sure our under 13s are safe! So with this I stress that parents guide them towards child friendly networking sites.

For example Club Penguin has over 150 children joined to it. And with this comes 200 moderators, who search through and look out for words that trigger a safety warning. Mr Lane Merrifeld set up Penguin Power because he felt that the internet at that time offered little chance for his own children to be social and safe. “Club Penguin takes the idea of safety and turns it on its head. Adults are not banned and, in theory, a paedophile could enter the site but their actions would be muted by filters limiting what can be discussed. …….Words such as address, school and phone number are not allowed. It is a truly anonymised environment. There is simply no opportunity for personally identifiable information," http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-16836318

We need more sites like this; not all are successful. For eaxample Little Gossip social website which was shut down due to complaints form many including mumsnet as it resulted in cyber bullying and harmful gossip about youngsters. Mr Nash "I started the site with good intentions and it quickly exploded. I had 66,000 pieces of gossip in the first couple of days and it was impossible to police," he said. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-16836318

So with the best of intentions not all social networksing sites are good for children; Facebook, Little Gossip , Myspace , Bebo , is naming just a few. But to conclude I do think that benefits can come from children being able to connect with other children globally and in a safe manner.

If you are interested in child friendly websites please check out my favourite The Magic Sunglasses Project which connects and empowers children globally.

www.themagicsunglasses.com

Written by Kaley Herrick ,researcher of child development related to the creative arts.

Are our children being damaged by the ‘online age’? Or is there a wealth of development to be found?

We are constantly told by the press that in today’s day and age family life is in the decline and that our parents are career focused and too busy to offer the support, motivation and encouragement that is needed to bring up happy, intelligent and self motivated children. We are told that parents damage their children’s brains by sitting them in front of the TV or computers every evening and weekend. With this, we are led to believe that we have intolerant, celebrity obsessed, social network crazed , violent children in the modern world!! But lets turn this around, lets paint a different picture, one which I believe to be much more promising for our children’s future.

I still see children playing and laughing in the parks, I still see children being ambitious, trying new things, joining classes , interacting at school, socializing in the ‘real world’ , surely the internet just adds to the many bows to our children’s strings. Lets give tour children and our parents some credit – the internet andcomputers etc are in our culture now. I suggest maybe some people anti-internet do not like change. Ofcourse like most things related to children – a safety aspect and a need for ground rules is paramount. The internet has a wealth of information – much that is not suitable for a child. As long as this is monitered the internet has a wealth of positivity to offer children, opportunities that we adults didn’t have the fortune of having.

The internet gives children access to information that will improve educational attainment . It also helps children socially! There is no evidence that children REPLACE actual socialization with virtual. On the internet children have the opportunity to engage with a larger group of people both virtually and in real life. The internet can also provide entertainment – the internet offers a world of possibilities to a child at their finger tips – it can offer inspiration, can stimulate imagination , help children explore the world in a second , they can gain new experiences, learn new things and learn about themselves – what they like, etc. When children are online they are thinking, reading, analyzing, creating opinions and using their brains. None of this is ever documented as the media like to portray all the negatives!!

According to http://www.verdick.org there are other positive factors for children using the internet; Physical development, cognitive development and social development. They suggest the use of the internet offers better hand to eye co-ordination, and improvement of fine motor skills due to using the mouse and keyboard. They also say “Children who use the Internet show gains in cognitive abilities such as memory, spatial and logical problem solving, critical thinking, concentration, abstraction and comprehension. The Internet exposes children to information to improve the quality of learning that they can transform into knowledge. Through the use of the Internet, children’s language and literacy development is often promoted, allowing for greater gains in verbal and nonverbal skills.”

Ofcourse there are other risks with the internet , it can be a minefield with spams, spontaneous pop-ups, cyber bullying etc. But as long as these things are monitored and parental restrictions put in place these issues can be controlled.

A recent survey conducted by consumer research firm Intersperience suggested that 60% of children aged between 12 and 16 would be "sad" without a web connection, while 48% said they would be lonely.

A poll conducted for Safer Internet Day by BBC Radio 1's Newsbeat found that only 6% of 13-19-year-olds were likely to accept a friends request from someone they did not know, while 69% said that they understood how to change their Facebook privacy settings. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-16836318

Maybe we are not giving our children enough credit, children have internet in their lives and it is only going to develop, lets embrace it with care but be open to the opportunities it gives our children that is beneficial to their development – far beyond what we had.

We could always help our children by choosing a good website for them to view. Try the Magic Sunglasses if you are looking for a good positive start . www.themagicsunglasses.com

Written by Kaley Herrick ,researcher of child development related to the creative arts.

Can we rely on parents and celebrities to be good role models?

We all know that children are at their most vulnerable and impressionable age. While they are learning and experiencing new things they are actively taking in anything and everything around them. A child will copy or imitate any behavior they see as they have no other option than to believe that this is the normal and correct way to act. A child is also blessed with having that innocence to behave in the exact way they feel at the exact time they wish to feel it. This is an act of impulse and not an act that they have necessarily observed.

Obviously in most cases the child's parents are the first form of positive learning. A child will copy a parent eat, drink, cover their mouth when they cough, clean their teeth, say sorry when they do something wrong and clean up when they make a mess. They can also learn valuable lesson from their parents like to get straight up and try again even when you've fallen over, learn to read, potty training, learn to share, learn what is right and learn what is wrong. It would be perfect if every parent was a perfect role model but we know this isn’t the case. We also know that many external factors like school, friends, tv programmes, computer games and the such can ruin all the perfect parents' hard work.

So for these reasons we cannot rely purely on parents alone for ROLE MODEL SECURITY even if they are ‘perfect parents’!

So then we look to people in the public eye. These being celebrities, famous actors, singers, athletes, olympians. Do our children really look to history for their role models nowadays? Unfortunately I think popular culture tends to rule when role models are concerned. But can we rely on real people being good role models. People make mistakes remember!! But maybe this is also ok to teach children…. So we have popular celebrities who do have positive effects without much threat of tabloid negativity. We have Peter Andre a great dad, who is encouraging the nation to help their children to enjoy reading again. We have Gok Wan helping our teens to be confident , have self belief to tackle their anxieties. We have Jamie Oliver encouraging healthy eating for our children. But unfortunately we have other role models causing controversy. With racism on the field with John Terry, Xfactor stars on drugs, Miley Cyrus caught on camera in nightly antics , can we really trust the celebrities? Where as I personally quite like Katie Price aka Jordan and appreciate her business and family focus, is it wise to let your child find a role model in her? Should a child look up to Victoria Beckham she may be a great mum and another business woman, but is promoting that beauty in being stick thin and having unhealthy diets a great way to teach your child to be. Is it wise that a child looks up to Lindsey Lohan in her many roles in children's films including Freaky Friday. When she is actually a misled lady involved in binge drinking and drugs?

Maybe we shouldn’t rely on the celebs? So if we cant rely on celebs or the parents? Surely the only alternatives to ensure a healthy role model is to use historians , who cannot let our children down. Florence Nightingale, Mother Theresa, Otto Schindler, Nelson Mandela , Ann Frank , Ghandi , Issac Newton , Martin Luther King, etc . But is this realistic, we cant pick role models for the children they choose them themselves?

So I put to you my opinion – The only role models we can truly rely upon are creative stimulus, ie characters in books, characters in TV programmes and the such? For example The Magic Sunglasses Project includes great role models. A book that continues into a workshop, then ongoing stories for your child to develop and learn. Auriel Blanche the author, understands children and their need for a positive role model. Her overall ambition is to connect and empower children on a global scale. Within her creative and innovative writing she inspires children to appreciate their self worth and to live happy and emotionally healthy lives. She engages children through her stories to use their imaginations to explore their dreams and to reach with in for their personal powers and specialties. She encourages children to live with respect for others and act with good manners and healthy attitudes. Throughout the book Samantha is always polite and friendly. She is playful and imaginative. She enjoys making her dreams come true and strives to reach her potential. She is a happy child, enthusiastic and charismatic. She is respectful of others and through self discovery learns how to cope with the challenges she faces with optimism and self worth. All of which are attributes that a role model should inspire to give. Samantha gives many good examples that the reader can emulate and learn from and is therefore a great role model. So please if you have a child please introduce them to Samantha. Have a look yourself at The Magic Sunglasses website - http://www.themagicsunglasses.com

Is it important that celebs like Gok Wan, help our troubled teens with self belief?

Many of us have negative opinions of today’s celebrtites. We have concerns for the effects their role model statuses have on our impressionable youths. For this reason , I stress that we be greatful for the fab celebs we do have out there. You now know my love of Mr Peter Andre but another celebrity on my list is the presenter, author and fashion stylist , Gok Wan. He has helped the nation to be brave and bare their all. He is now focusing on the need to help our teens to be confident , to live with self belief and have a healthy self esteem to be encouraged to reach their potentials and live fulfilled , happy lives. Gok Wans new show Goks Teens: The naked truth, gives troubled teens the advice, confidence and self-belief they need to tackle their issues and anxieties. Fantastic in my opinion…. But here’s what the press have to say about it:

‘The programme is an eye-opener for the rest of us – and humbling too, because it highlights exactly what families such as the Watson’s have to contend with.’ Jenny Johnston, Daily Mail (Weekend)

‘Unmissable TV for parents and teens alike.’ Bella

‘In this new series, the modern-day Mr Motivator helps teenagers tackle issues such as body dysmorphia and eating disorders…Bravo, Gok, on another inspiring series! *****’ RM, TV Times Magazine

‘The exploration of various body confidence issues is a thoroughly well-intentioned piece of TV.’ Phil Harrison, Time Out

Gok also asked some other celebrity mates about their teenage years and to share their tips for teens today for his programme , so we can be positive that there are many celebrities out there who would also be good role models for our children. Included in the programme is;Sara cox (broadcaster), Stephanie davis (hollyoaks) Mica Paris (singer) Mann (rapper) Matthew Horne (gavina nd Stacey) Joe Calzaghe (boxer) Jody Cundy (paralympian) Jo Brand (comedian) Jemma Kid (makeup artist) Gorden Ramsey (chef) Fearne Cotton (presenter) Duncan James (singer) Catherine Tate (comedien) Ben Cohen (rugby player) Alesha Dixon (presenter)

So all in favour of Gok Wan say “ai” yes, Teenagers are at a fundamental age, and its fantastic what Gok Wan is doing – using his celebrity status for a great cause. However do you think that these positive affirmations would be much more beneficial if tackled at an earlier age, teenage life is hard enough perhaps if this was dealt with before this age, there will be so much more potential for our teens. So I suggest that we build children’s confidences as toddlers, babies even… perhaps with music/dance/play classes, to socialise and interact with others and explore themselves, their personal enjoyments and talents. Then perhaps at primary age our children could take part in interactive workshops, read stories , join confidence building clubs etc to improve self esteem and self respect. Projects like my favourite The Magic Sunglasses Project could be used. www.themagicsunglasses.com

With this article I leave you with this thought…..

Gok wan is doing a fantastic job, and we should be thankful that there are some celebrities that make perfect role models out there right now…but lets take a little responsibility for empowering our children to live confidently with a self esteem that allows for; self belief , respect for themselves and sensitivity for others and their individualities. Lets tackle these problems before they can become issues… lets help our own babies/toddlers/children before they reach the vulnerable and impressionable teenage years!!!

Can the inspirational Gok Wan help our children without the support of the government?

Multi award winning UK TV presenter and highly acclaimed fashion stylist Gok Wan has “…made his mark by giving women the confidence to appreciate their bodies, whatever their size and encouraged women whatever their shape and size to strip for the nation!” http://www.gokwan.com/about-gok/
Most importantly, through his much loved programme How To Look Good Naked , he has inspired women to battle with low self esteem and to live happy healthy and confident lives. Gok Wan has successfully been the driving force for thousand of women all over the country to change their lives and feel amazing in their own natural bodies. We now have women who were unhappy , depressed , unhealthy, scared with deep emotional issues who now believe that we are all individual, we are all beautiful and we all deserve to feel confident with our natural bodies. For bringing this powerful message to the nation , Gok we salute you!! But now we plead that Gok Wan can be able to share this powerful and crucial message to our children!
Being such an amazing instituation Gok Wan was on this case, on the case to help children discover that they are beautiful, to appreciate their natural beauties. In fact in 2009 Gok Wan launched the campaign to get body confidence classes on the National Curriculum. With a huge achievement of 50,000 signatures it still wasn’t implemented. Thankfully Gok hasn’t given up and is re-launching his campaign. Gok Wan is planning to lobby MPs outside of Parliament to get body confidence taught on the national curriculum as part of the PSHE in all the schools. To date, Michael Gove - who is the new Minister for Education - won't see him! With such a great campaign we really should urge the government to back him. Gok Wan really is an inspiration, he has helped women everywhere , now’s the time to enable him to help our children. I think we can all relate to this Gok Wans statement "What I would say is, if you believe that you have ever looked in the mirror and you have never liked what you're looking at and if you've ever felt that you are not as beautiful as you could be, then back this campaign because everyone is very beautiful.” http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/interviews/a318397/gok-wan-goks-teens-the-naked-truth.html
Gok Wan calls this low self esteem and body conscious attitude in children today as a "body hatred epidemic" When asked who is to blame Gok replies
"I think the problem lies in so many different areas. It's so hard to pinpoint because if we could just find one area, we could probably do something about it. But I think it's a combination of the media - we need to be more positive about it, I think it's about education of families as well, education of schools as well. I think it's in every single direction. Body dysmorphia has been carried down over the years and now it's been passed to the next generation and we need to do something about it." http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/interviews/a318397/gok-wan-goks-teens-the-naked-truth.html
So the government , namely Michael Gove wouldnt listen, so Gok then progressed from the popular How to Look good Naked, to Gok’s Teens:The Naked Truth. Through which 12 teenagers lives are followed. In the words of Gok “ Gok's Teens: The Naked Truth is a three-part series for Channel 4 where I draw on my personal experience to help give teenagers the advice, confidence and self belief they need to tackle their issues and anxieties” http://www.gokwan.com/gok-on-tv/
Not only does Gok Wan spend time empowering women with his TV programmes, lobby Mps , inspire our teens he also has many other things to offer us,a few of which detailed below.
With his fabulous glasses collection in Specsavers, Gok Wan is banishing hiding behind your specs! Helping us spectacle wearers look and feel fantastic with his strong, sexy, glamorous range of glasses. Stating that your ‘outfit starts with your glasses’ this fashion stylist is helping us wear spectacles with confidence. http://www.specsavers.co.uk/gok-wan/
Then there’s Gok Wan Gorgeous Collection in Boots with his luxury bath range, helping women feel confident and able to indulge in making themselves feel and look great. The Boots website describes Goks products as “Flamboyant and sophisticated, the new Gorgeous by Gok range is packed with sassy, seductive products, designed to make every woman look and feel gorgeous.” We really do have a lot to be thankful for Mr Wan. http://www.boots.com/en/Gorgeous-by-Gok_1017072/
Gok Wans fabulous lingerie and shapewear collection, designed for Simply Yours, designed to make women feel sexy and confident without the crazy diet binges and drastic plastic surgery options. “I know how much you care about looking gorgeous and feeling even sexier and that's why I've designed this underwear range for Simply Yours that supports you, holds you in and oozes sex appeal. Finally! Support underwear you can flaunt!” Ok so underwear and lingerie isn’t the answer for children and teens but I’m sure Gok Wan has some great ideas and products in mind to help children use clothes and accessories to feel good so they don’t look to drastic other options like eating disorders etc. http://www.gokwan.com/get-gokked/
Then there’s Gok’s TU at Sainsbury range. Making fashion accessible to everyone. Even if they cannot afford designer clothes. In the mirror Gok Wan was quoted for saying “With these clothes, I want women to flirt, flaunt and celebrate their curves. I've spent the last few months working through every detail and believe we've delivered attainable and affordable design like never before. I want to make you feel confident, stylish and positive about your bodies, whatever your budget, size or shape”
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/07/20/how-40-gok-wan-dress-transformed-mirror-girl-ruki-sayid-s-figure-115875-23282658/ Gok Wan doesnt care for the elitism in the industry but does care about people and by making clothes accessible to everyone is great!

Look out for ‘Wan way of life’ and his pledge to give something back by encouraging a nation to shed their body conscious inhibitions because we must listen and encourage our children to have the same views. http://www.dare2mag.com/interview/2011/gok-wan/ With this amazing man influencing and caring for the UK women , to empower and inspire them with such an amazing success rate, we are mad to not allow him to drive his campaign to allow these powerful messages to be adapted for children !

Can Peter Andre help the nation fall in love with reading?

Peter Andre is a great ambassador for encouraging the nation to read. Back in December 2011 Pop singer Peter Andre urged the parents in the country to read a bedtime story to their children every night. He fronted the 2011 campaign with Boris Johnson to recruit volunteers to boost London Libraries , he supported the Evening Standard’s literacy campaign highlighting Londons reading crisis, he is also a children’s author himself. And now he is helping the nation ‘fall in love with reading’ through his Charitable campaign Galaxy Quick Reads.

Viv Bird, chief executive of Booktrust another reading charity, said: "It is good news that parents are spending more time reading to their children……But I think that parents are pretty busy people and the stress of daily life can get in the way of reading with a child. So we've got to keep reinforcing the message." So its great that celebrities in the spotlight are helping the cause.

It is crucial that Adults find a love for reading to pass on the trait to their children. So the wonderful Peter Andre is again, on the case with the Quick Reads. Quick Reads are bite-size books that are written specifically to ignite a passion for reading. They're brilliant, bite sized books by big name authors and celebrities, Fast -paced and easy to read . They are available at bookshops, supermarkets, libraries and online they can also be purchased as eBooks, downloadable direct to your mobile phone, eReader or computer. Quick Reads have proven to ; improve new readers' confidence , increase morale at work and improve family life, as readers feel more able to help their children learn. http://www.quickreads.org.uk

Sue Southwood, Quick Reads Project Manager, said:
"Reading helps children to learn about the world around them. It promotes communication skills, enriches imagination and helps them do well in school. But roughly 1 in 6 adults in the UK struggle with reading and it's vital that we find ways to encourage them to improve their skills and give them the ability to read to their children. For adults, stronger literacy skills can also lead to a better quality of life in terms of improved self-confidence, involvement in the community and could even lead to a new or better job." http://www.quickreads.org.uk/news-and-media-centre/latest-news
http://www.quickreads.org.uk/news-and-media-centre/latest-news
Quick Reads ambassador Peter Andre, said:
"It's amazing to see the impact that improving your reading and writing skills can have on your earning potential not to mention your overall personal confidence and morale. Quick Reads are a great way to get yourself back into the habit of reading and to build up your confidence. Great stories, brilliantly written and easy-to-read, they've helped me fall in love with reading again after years of putting off picking up a book because of lack of time and feeling intimidated by large books."
http://www.niace.org.uk/news/eight-brand-new-quick-reads-launched
Peter Hughes, head of corporate responsibility at Pearson publishers, said: "A passion for reading is one of the greatest gifts we can give. Good reading skills are the basic cornerstone that helps all of us progress throughout our lives.” So lets hope Peter Andre and others can help the nation to fall in love with reading.

How can we help children discover the joy of reading in this digital age?

The internet is part of our lives now and most young people connect via the internet - this is fine as it allows global connection and is a great source of information (as can be TV). But what about the pleasure of hands on reading and enjoying real books?

Computer games can be great for fun, reflexes and relaxation but you need a balance, and books and reading often get pushed out. And of course, you need to learn to read even to benefit from the information on the internet. Reports and recent figures show many kids can’t read well so they are shut out from the wonder of books – there have been government programmes to improve level of reading skills and the use of iPads and Kindle have also shown encouraging signs that people will use new technologies to read. And although kids love digital stuff they still seem to enjoy books they can hold in their hand. There has been research on whether use of computers lowers the literacy level of children: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1390365/Computers-home-wrecking-childrens-reading-skills-age-nine.html

Encouraging children to read can often prove to be a difficult task, but it is important that children discover the joys of reading. Not only can you learn from reading – and become informed – it can open a new world or you can journey into a new secret world to escape from reality – sometimes that can be a good thing!

Bringing a book to life will certainly encourage a child to read, and reading can also be used as bonding time for a child and parent. Assuming they enjoy the experience, they will benefit and find the joy in reading. This will subsequently help them to develop. There are many ways to do this, some of which are more effective than others.

To keep a child’s brain active their imaginations need to be inspired. Research has proven that children develop faster through play. http://www.child-development-guide.com/child-play-development.html Choosing the right books can be beneficial; it’s always good to correspond the interest and hobbies the child has to the books they are offered. The more relevant to their tastes, the more enjoyable it will be and the more pleasure the reading will give. The hobbies and interests your child has could well be augmented by a subscription or series of reading materials. This is perfect for on-going enjoyment of literature.

The time and timing in which your child reads is also important. It is known that a child will absorb information if it is read to before bed. http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/08/24/11/benefits-bedtime-storytelling It can also spark imaginative and positive images for dreams. Bed time is also a relaxed and comfortable time to delve wholly into a book. A child will probably not enjoy reading during meals, or while a parent is vacuuming or where there are other distractions.

It is important that for a child to enjoy reading the correct atmosphere must be set. Perhaps room away from the tv could be available, or maybe a little special reading space where a child can enjoy sitting to read. Fun colours and shapes, sparking creativity would be helpful. It is important that it is quiet at the time your child is reading.

The old saying reads that you mustn’t choose a book by its cover but where children are concerned it is important that the cover is colourful, fun, sparks interest and is engaging. It is important also, that children can physically see parents and other adults reading for pleasure. It is a researched fact that children act as their role models do. That is most often the parents so it is important that parents read regularly and a child is witness to that. Of course there are problems here; some parents may not have the time or inclination to sit and read with their children, or may even not be interested in reading themselves. There are also problems for parents who do not have English as their mother tongue; this can be an opportunity to improve English and share the learning process with their kids.

Reading with children makes them discover the joy of reading as they enjoy spending time with parents. They feel special and are proud when they get compliments for their reading. It is also a conversation starter and can develop all sorts of understanding for aspects both within and outside the themes of the book. A book can also inspire other enjoyable activities as a development of the book itself. Spending personal time with your children will make them feel special and they will appreciate that they are able to share something.

Visiting libraries can often be a fun and enjoyable experience for children. There are often fun interactive workshops and activities taking place with children at certain days of the week. Children certainly discover the joy of reading on these as they tend to meet other children, make friends and appreciate their special treat. During some research I was doing with primary age children in schools and libraries over the last two years I found that teachers and libraries did a terrific job in inspiring and informing children – most librarians and teachers seem to me to be dedicated and and excited about finding numerous ways of opening the wonderful world of books and reading to children. Teachers and librarians can also give advice to children wishing to read about – and learn from – their role models.

It can also be more enjoyable if your child if they are encouraged to interact with older siblings. It is perfect to involve the whole family in reading games. Understandably there will be an array of reading levels but the concept will be the same. Maybe the older ones could read to the younger ones or visa versa. Shared reading in groups is related to enjoyment and development so this is definitely worth a try.

When a parent praises children’s efforts the child will be filled with joy and will be eager to read. Reading should always be thought of something fun and enjoyable. I think we can help a child discover the joy of reading in this digital age but it needs a combination of government, teachers, parents, authors, publishers and inspired leaders working together with children to make it happen.

How can you highlight your child’s strengths and why is this important in their personal and social development?

So personal and social development is crucial as this is what equips a child to deal with life! This is what will determine their self esteem levels and thus their willingness to try! To help boost your childs self esteem we must focus on their strengths and not fixate on weaknesses. But ofcourse we must ask the experts…

Dr. David J Carey, Consulting Psychologist has identified six strengths that are related to the predictable sequence of brain growth and development. He quotes “ These six strengths, if nurtured and fostered appropriately, will help a child grow to become a productive member of society” The strengths he states are ; Attachment , Self-regulation , Affiliation , Attunement , Tolerance & Respect http://www.davidjcarey.com/early_childhood_education.html

The book Your Child’s Strengths Discover Them, Develop Them, Use Them by Jenifer Fox M.Ed. is an essential book for parents and teachers. It explores how children’s individual strengths create success. Jennifer is interviewed in Words to Mouth and quoted for saying “utilizing children’s strengths rather than spending all your time trying to fix, or remediate weaknesses, they grow up to be happier, healthier and more productive citizens.” http://wordstomouth.com/2008/04/28/a-conversation-with-jenifer-fox-author-of-your-childs-strengths/ So we have another expert in agreement that focusing on strengths and building self esteem is important for personal and social development.

Unfortunately, many youngsters view themselves in a negative way, as they learn about themselves and each other. It is the human instinct to naturally evaluate, measure and judge. So it is important to help show your child the strengths that they have. Amy Phoenix, eHow Contributor, wrote an article called How to find strengths and weaknesses in kids. She agrees that fixating on weaknesses can be detrimental. “It is important to recognize that weaknesses in kids are not permanent traits, but rather indicators of areas that may need attention. Learning about and helping children identify their strengths and weaknesses can help you support them as they make decisions about careers or their life path.”

http://www.ehow.com/how_8142708_strengths-weaknesses-kids.html#ixzz1j4ACqQ2i

Are celebrities to blame for Eating Disorders and Body Image Concerns in our children?

Cause for concern?

Sadly body image concerns, eating disorders and low self esteem are increasingly occurring in our children. Eating disorders include a range of physical, psychological and behavioral features that often have an impact on social functioning and can invade most areas of a child’s life. Instead of living happy, playful and healthy lives children are concerning themselves with anxiety and distress about their shape and size. “More than 2,000 children have received treatment for eating disorders in the past three years, according to figures reported on Monday.

Statistics show that nearly 600 children under the age of 13 were treated in hospital in England, including 197 aged between five and nine. The figures from 35 NHS hospitals showed 98 were aged between five and seven at the time of treatment and 99 aged eight or nine.

Almost 400 were between the ages of 10 and 12, with more than 1,500 between 13 and 15 years old. The figures, released under the Freedom of Information Act, are believed to be an underestimate, according to reports.” (http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/aug/01/children-eating-disorder-figures-alarm) It is such an awful shame because these children are loosing their childhood and a crucial stage of their life when they are growing and developing into individuals.

Who’s to blame?

Although eating and weight disorders are common in children there is a scarcity of practical guidance on treatment methods for eating disorders for young people. There are many books available for parents and adults with regards to recognizing and helping a child who has an eating disorder. Unfortunately I didn’t find much guidance available for children themselves. There is certainly a lack of material available for children to prevent the body image concerns inflicted upon them. Is it ok to just blame the celebrities? Or do they themselves suffer the same issues because of media, magazines, celebrity gossip in print and constant diet tips in the papers and in society? Is it actually the responsibility of parents , teachers and society to infuse the right attitudes of self worth and beauty being more than skin deep?

What is the solution ? Confidence in personal identity , self belief and self worth!!!!

More important than this blame culture is the need for effective preventional tools. If we want children to grow up to love and accept their bodies, they must be raised to love and accept themselves. We need to teach children it's what's on the inside of a person that counts, not what's on the outside. These pre-conceived images of beauty, the desire to be as thin as a certain celebrity icon and the need to be on the next hyped diet phase that society boosts; all need to be contradicted and reinforced with corrective messages. To be an effective preventional tool for children it would need to be in the language that children can understand. It must also be creative and appealing in order to be engaging and influential.

There is certainly a niche in the market for books/workshops for children that tackle the issues of eating disorders and body issues in children. An enjoyable fun fantasy book, with characters a child could relate to, with vivid images and creative illustrations would be perfect, especially if there was an ongoing comprehensive activity book or workshop to take part in. The media sadly sends out confusing and misleading messages which has resulted in risk factors for eating disorders and low self esteem for children being dissatisfied with their body. There just isn’t enough reading material for children to read to prevent these misleading messages. Children are constantly exposed to the message that we should all be thin and not with the message that they need to accept people for who they are and not what they look like. They are not given the message that they should be proud of who they are, they are not being given the drive to appreciate themselves and their abilities, instead they are being given the message that they must be thin to be happy and successful. They are being given the message that to be accepted, to be popular and to be respected they must be thin.

I hope that with the books and literature that is being created today, there will be an influx of children’s books that counteract the many magazines, celebrity gossip and constant diet tips that children have been reading to start their eating disorders. I hope with these, children will learn to be proud of whom they are and respect others for who they are inside and not judge them for how they look. I hope children everywhere will be able to love and accept who they are. I hope they will be less likely to strive to attain society's definition of the "ideal" body image and they will love and accept their own bodies, no matter what size they are. I hope books will be filled with corrective messages that go straight to the heart of child body image issues. I hope the new books will help children live happy and healthy lives that wont lead to the staggering amount of eating disorders that exist in children now.

Practical methods for tackling children’s confidence in their body image and preventing eating disorders

Giving a child the tools and encouragement to form a solid feeling of confidence for their own identity is crucial. Understanding that “The Real” you is beautiful, everyone is a beautiful individual , with different beauties , none more important or of higher value than the other.

The key is practical and comprehensive guidance and teaching as a basic part of kids education –at home and also at school . Giving children the knowledge to make good choices with regards to healthy eating is also crucial. Understanding how to stay fit and the importance of a healthy weight is our responsibility – we cannot simply blame celebrities for our children’s eating habits.

I appreciate that cost and time effect parenting when thinking about food and health. Parents that are poorer or have less time , may struggle to provide food that nourishes a child . Convenience foods save time but are not always the healthiest option, so is it the celebrities fault? Or can the parents make better choices and teach their children better?

Thumbs up to many celebrities who are helping

It is our social responsibility to explain to children, that celebrities feel pressurized as they may also feel. That they are beautiful and don’t have to be unhappy. There are many celebrities out there trying to help this situation , Jamie Oliver is a fantastic example of a celeb helping and ‘sainsbury helalthy eating ‘ promotion is a perfect way to help children. Gok Wan is another celebrity helping society feel good about themselves. He make people appreciate what they have and understand their self worth is beautiful.

We can only hope that more celebrities, or people in the public eye will jump on board and help children tackle their insecurities and appreciate themselves. To live happy, ambitious and successful lives.

How can you help your child feel special and appreciated and why is it important for their personal and social development?

Research indicates that one of the main factors that contributes to a child development to help the child to feel special and appreciated; a parent who does not ignore a child's problems, but focuses energy on a child's strengths will have a child who has a higher self esteem and will develop personally and socially a lot better.

The Parenting Expert Sue Atkins, discusses how to help your child feel special and appreciated, in an article aptly titled Nurturing your child’s Self Esteem by Sue Aktins she staes that “One of the main factors that contribute to your child becoming resilient and confident is by you focusing your energy on your child's strengths and not constantly picking up on their weaknesses.”

http://sueatkinsparentingcoach.com/

So when asking the question : How can you help your child feel special, it is in fact, very simple. According to Leigh Leverrier, a family life coach in the Washington, D.C., "Children feel special when they are respected, noticed, listened to, and heard." http://www.babycenter.com/0_simple-ways-to-make-your-child-feel-special_3657925.bc So simply giving your child your time and attention can help.

Ofcourse in today’s society, we have many parents who are busy, or perhaps single parents, or a large family where the child has lots of equally parent dependable siblings. Family therapist Dennis Neill focuses his advise on sibling rivalry and how to help each child feel special, he states “Spending separate time with your children can make them feel special and appreciated. Helping your children to feel valued and special will save you lots of problems in other areas of their lives too. Children will constantly judge how fair you are being in your parenting - for them it is about how much you love and value them.” http://www.familytherapy.org.uk/Leaflets/siblingrivalry.html

Dr. Jane Nelsen Ed.D. is a licensed marriage, family and child counselor, she states “Kids feel special when you share yourself. Helping your child feel special is a matter of planning and habit, not a lack of time. The fringe benefit of making it a habit to help your child feel special is that you will feel like a special mom or dad.” http://store.positivediscipline.com/Seven-Ways-Busy-Parents-Can-Help-Their-Children-Feel-Special_b_5.html So it is a positive for all!

So now we know helping a child feel special will help their self esteem , thus helping their personal and social development. We need to understand why it is important. The national network of child care studied characteristics of children with high self esteem and they found, “Most of the time, children with high self-esteem will; make friends easily, show enthusiasm for new activities , be cooperative and follow age-appropriate rules , control their behavior., play by themselves and with other children , like to be creative and have their own ideas, be happy, fully of energy, and talk to others without much encouragement.” http://www.nncc.org/guidance/self.esteem.html Needless to say then , that yes a high self esteem is paramount and extremely important for a childs development. Self esteem will come hand in hand when you make your child feel special and appreciated.

To summerise I quote Dr Sears a trusted resource for parents “Self-esteem is your child's passport to lifetime mental health and social happiness” http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/12-ways-help-your-child-build-self-confidence Spend time with your child focus in their strengths , show them their self worth, show them they can be who they want to be if they try, show that we all have different skills but all have special talents and true inner self worth can be produced. Thus building a form foundation for a child to develop socially and personally into adults who live with self pride, respect for themselves and others. Lives that are fulfilled, successful and happy!